Failing forward or just failing?
Failing Forward or failing backwards?
Can I share a raw moment of failure with you?
I have been praying that God would use my testimony to help others who are going through what I have gone through with addiction and no self love. I desire my story of success to be used for HIS glory and for the edification of others who are struggling in their addiction and on self destruct mode like l lived for so long.
Today an opportunity presented itself and I FAILED.....BIG TIME!!
You see I had just finished a book by John Maxwell called "Failing Forward" and literally was on my way back from the Library to take my MIL's books to her when I rounded the corner and saw someone in just her thong walking around in the street and at the drug house across the street from my MIL's. She was peeking in the windows of the neighbors, who have kids and my mama bear came out with a vengeance. This house is no good and I can say that because I myself used to hang there when in my addiction. Not the house, but what goes on there.
I had the opportunity to share the good news of Jesus Christ and His blood saving grace. I had the opportunity to share what He has done for me. I could have shared how He has transformed my life and blessed me beyond measure, taken me from the depths of Hell to the gates of Heaven. I could have shared with her that I am loved by a magnificent heavenly Father. I could have shared with her that she is also loved by HIM. I could have loved her through him and helped her. But no...................what did I do?
...................I yelled at her.......to get some clothes on, that those kids didn't need to see her like that and to get out of there or I was calling the police (an eviction just took place there). She did put clothes on and leave after a bit. But I just kept asking myself, Is this how God intended to use me? I think (I know) NOT!!! This was a failure. Will I use this in failing forward or will I just fail backwards? No I didn't handle this in the way I should have, but I did learn a valuable lesson through my failure and that is why I am choosing to fail forward. If I just sit and beat myself up like I have been for the last hour, then Satan has a grasp on me and I am failing backwards or just plain failing. HOWEVER, I am choosing to see where I failed and made a decision to not make that mistake again and that is failing forward.
I am praying that God allows our paths to cross again so that I can offer her clothing, food, the gospel, my testimony and most importantly........just show her that she is LOVED. I know that I needed to know that love, that only Jesus can provide, when I was lost and in my addiction. I need it every day. Please today, don't waste an opportunity, but Just show some LOVE to someone. We are presented with so many opportunities throughout a day. Who know how you will affect someone's life by just showing love and kindness.
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